I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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