I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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