Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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