whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
