Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
