I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I love having hate sex.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
