So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
