There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
