So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
