Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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