shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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