hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she smelled like a LAN party
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
