i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
