Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
