Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
