is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize