I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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