they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
