you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
