I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
