You just made me feel so damn special
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
