Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
