I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I checked into jail on foursquare
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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