I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
