i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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