I hate all girls vehemently.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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