If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Are we still banned from the library?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
