i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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