You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
