no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
