Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
