i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
