There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
