about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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