happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
