I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
