we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
not ubering you a puppy
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
