Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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