Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
