I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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