I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
