is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
