is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
