so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
