You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
did i walk over a car last night?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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