I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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