Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
