No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
