Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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