So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
