Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
