HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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