He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I want a musical about memes.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
